On Saturday, Matt and the kids took me to go see Black Adam. I had the most wonderful heart melting moment with Mabel when she was starting to stir in her seat. She curled up and laid her head on my arm. I about near started crying. She started throwing popcorn in my mouth, excited every time she got it in. Who am I to stop someone’s happiness like that? Not me. Hell no. The adornment and goofy faces from her, I never want to break anyone’s spirit like that. It goes to the same with Ben and his obsession with Godzilla and kaiju. I wish I knew just as much as he does, but seeing him light up like a Christmas tree every time I show up. He’s quick to start spitting out random kaiju information from his Roblox game, new stats. He feels so damn good to have someone to talk to who will listen. I’d never want to take that joy away from anyone.

Later in the evening we ended up at Hopworks Urban Brewery in Vancouver. Matt put the kids in the van while we partook in a beer. The kids couldn’t come into that section of the restaurant. When the kids came back, apparently Ben and Mabel got into some kind of fight. Mabel was mad. Gus was in his own little world. For some reason, this thought stuck with me. I distracted Mabel by having her press ‘Random’ on this random number generator to pick the number of beer I was going to have. She went from mad to happy again. I’m pretty good at defusing emotional situations. I don’t know what it is between Ben and Mabel, but I suspect it could mimic a lot of difficulties me and my sister have with each other.

My #B2 could be attached to my #AD as well. My excitative function can and does get hacked. When I’m in a good mood, I really don’t know how to maintain control. Last night though, I finally showed restraint. Both Matt and I got a flight of beer. 5 2.65 oz pours. We both had 20oz before we sat down for dinner. For $12, you’d get a sample totaling 13.25oz. Interestingly enough, I picked #6 and had Mabel pick the other 4 with that random number generator. I did finish the #6, but the other numbers, I tasted but didn’t finish. Matt finished all but I think one of his. He looked at mine in surprise. It seemed wrong and sacrilege not to finish. I told him, I’m happy right now, I don’t want to lose control. Even after he dropped me off, I thought about going to Caps for a drink. I walked that way, but then just kept walking. I was telling myself, no, don’t do it. Just soak in this happiness. You’re fine, you don’t need to spend any more money. I got all the way to Garfield when I turned back around and weaved my way to talk myself out of having another drink. When I got home, I did give myself a shot of the Siracha Honey Whiskey that Sami and Matt got me while they were on their anniversary weekend.

Let me speak to that right there a moment. See, this is why I am so happy here in Camas. I get to be me here. I don’t have to hide anything from anybody. Yes, I’m anti social. I can talk to anyone really, but I do not actively seek out the community or whatever it is from other people randomly. I could, but I’m pretty happy just being by myself. When I’m in NC though, I’m not myself. I can’t speak the way that I speak here. I can’t act the way I act here. I am really not myself. I’m “Mac”, not Thomas. This is why I don’t like being on the east coast. I hate that version of myself. But out here, I am so loved and appreciated for just being me, that someone will think of me WHILE THEY’RE ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY TRIP. Back to crying again. This feels so good.