As of Thursday 1pm, I’m on vacation. I haven’t said that phrase in such a long time. Vacations are very hard for me because of my proclivity with my job. I really do enjoy my job. Even the new hours, I’m right back at home without actually being home. That’s all I have to say about that.

I ran into Raelean today. Lets start from the beginning domino.

I’m enjoying my new hours at work. Monday and Saturday I start at 4am. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I start at 5am. I’m off on Friday and Sunday’s. This means, for the PTO of -9 hours, I get a 3 day weekend. I’m set! DMG just has to keep this ship afloat and we’re golden!

I realized yesterday that I needed May 13th off, not April 15th. I’m really not good with future stuff. I’m not comfortable with this idea that I ‘will’ my future because, I just don’t get it. I don’t know why and it’s one of these edges in life that it’s not really relevant to where I’m headed. I’m shaping my future now, not a month from now. My scout is doing their job creating my divine path. I am the one on the path. I am as present as I’ve been for quite a long time. There are thoughts and memories I have that are prohibiting me from applying growth and I don’t know why.

I treated myself to some peanut butter and chocolate whiskey. A few hours later I decided I’m doing a Chumbawamba. Whiskey drink, vodka drink, lager drink, cider drink. I was given a bottle of peanut butter and chocolate whiskey from my friends Sami and Matt. I cannot express yet how much that family has been to me. Fly your freak flag. If you’re special and you know it clap your hands? <clap><clap> Hi Sami and Matt!

I went to Camas Slices bar side for a vodka drink. Paul was working the bar. There was a small party happening behind me. Rather flamboyant individual talking rather loudly controlling the entire room. His presence is well acknowledged. I ordered a vodka drink, your choice from Paul. He responded, how about a vodka tonic, I’m told mine are especially tasty. Far be it from me from denying ones peek vodka option. He asked which vodka I wanted and then quickly responded, no, I got this. Vodka, tonic, and a wedge of lime. 2 thin straws. I take a sip, perfection. Exactly what I wanted. Simplicity. I put in an order of 6 buffalo chicken wings to go.

Carissa was working. Recognized me, said hi, then went back to work. Few moments later, she was really quite disturbed. I could see something is off from her. I didn’t pay it no mind in the moment, Carissa isn’t one to hide from anything. She later shared that she had it out with Paul in the kitchen. Carl was making pies all night long. He didn’t see me through the window. I saw him earlier in the day at Safeway. He was in high spirits because of the weather. Looks like we’re going to be busy. I told him I’d be there. He had a very somber look on his face. He was clearly fighting back the tears. He could use a smoke right now. Pies got to be made. Paul passed to me two lagers on the house. He poured by accident and was about to throw them out. That’s what I’ll remember most about Paul. He totally got Camas. We have to focus on the path, not the surrounding obstacles.

That was a whiskey drink, vodka drink, and lager drink down. I decided to go across the street to Caps n’ Taps. I got my cider can to go. Checked out with Miles. I got the opportunity to show Miles a magic trick I had been working on. I even showed him step by step how to do it, no funnin. Only thing I did tell him was I’m not going to tell you the reason. That’s not my role. As I’m leaving I see Raelean at the bar. I fancy over to say hello and catch up with her. The banter we had with each other, I felt from her the natural support as an educator in life, not of the lesson. I feel so lucky for our crossing.

I share with her that I have a 3 day weekend today. I’m not thinking about work. Worried about work. I’ll be turning my phone and watch off, no I want to just be free. She says with great fever, be free. Go with the flow. Don’t worry about anything, just have fun.

I take this time now to write this journal entry. I may get the courage to ask Raelean for help with my journaling. I want to get better. I want to learn. Am I that lucky?